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So Much News, So Little Time: Aunt Jemima & New Trump Tell-Alls

 Let's kick things off with themost important meal of the day: racism. REPORTER: A familiar face at breakfast for more than  a century will soon be a thing of the past.  Quaker Oats announcing that they're getting rid  of the 130-year-old Aunt Jemima brand  famous for pancake mixes, maple syrup,  and other breakfast foods.  In a statement to NBC News, Quaker Oats writing, in part: That's right.After 130 years, it is officially timeto pour one out for Aunt Jemima. Don't worry.

I put pancakes on the floor. Now, if you don't understandwhat the big deal is, Aunt Jemima, from the beginning, was a classicslave "mammy" stereotype who got her name from an oldblackface minstrel character. And although the companyhas tried to strip away most of the racist stuffover the years, people still associateAunt Jemima with ads like this one  from 1945, where Aunt Jemima is saying  "Lawsee! Folks sho' whoops with joy  over Aunt Jemima's pancakes." So, yeah, those ads wereso racist Trump's probably gonna  appoint one to attorney general. It's also amazingthat the brand knew that Aunt Jemimawas racist, and then,instead of just changing it, they chose to instead slowly phase outthe racism over time. That is so ridiculous. Can you imagine you caughtyour partner cheating and instead of stopping,they said, "Yeah, yeah, you're right, baby,this is so wrong.

"I... I thinkI'm gonna slowly start "phasing out all of my affairs.From now on, no sex, just hand stuff." But I guess that'show powerful racism is-- they can even use itto sell food. Do you think black peopleare less than human? Well, then you're gonnalove these flapjacks. But let's move on. Because, as we'veall learned yet again over the past few weeks, the worst racismisn't in your breakfast. It's often what happenswhen you leave the house. And for people who are worriedabout getting harassed by the police, there's an appthat might not be able to stop it,but can at least make sure that everyone finds out. Amid the widespread protestsand anger over police brutality, an iPhone shortcut that allowsusers to automatically record their interactions with thepolice is gaining popularity.  After installing the shortcut, all you have to do is say,  "Hey, Siri, I'm getting pulled over,"  and it opens your front-facing camera  and starts a video recording and sends a message  to somebody you designate as a contact.  Once you stop the recording, it sends the message  to that contact and allows you to send it  to your iCloud or Dropbox. Hell, yeah, Siri. I always knew you were an ally. SIRI: Did you say"find local bowling alleys?" God damn it, I hate you. Now, obviously,this is a helpful tool for many, many people. But the fact thatthis app is even necessary just shows you how widespreadthis problem is. I mean, it's 30 yearsafter Rodney King, and the only thingthat's basically changed is that the cameras are smarter? In fact, the copshave now released their own app.

Yeah. When they startto pull over a black person, their body camautomatically "malfunctions." In other news, while mostof the planet has been focused on fighting racismand coronavirus, deep in the Himalayas, China and India have decided they alsowant to fight each other. Two nuclear powersare facing off in a remote cornerof the Himalayas, and now officialsfrom China and India are scramblingto try to ease tensions. On Monday, soldiers  from both countries fought on disputed land,  and the Indian side  lost around 20 soldiers, and that's prompted anger  in several cities. You see people here  stomping on Chinese-made products.  Others burned an effigy of the Chinese president. Okay, I'm sorry. China and India, you guys need to cool off, because this is not the time.

 We can't handlea world war right now. We're already dealingwith so many things-- coronavirus,economies are tanking, global protests are happening,and at any minute, more Hollywood actorscould release one of thoseblack and white videos. I take responsibility. Now, this disputebetween China and India is about where, exactly,a remote border in the Himalayas should be,and they've been arguing about this part of the borderfor 50 years. And it's crazy--this is basically what most beefsbetween countries come down to. Every country is basicallyjust a kid in the back of a car, trying to claim as muchof the middle seat as they can. It's mine! It's mi...It's mine! And I don't know if I'd befighting for that land, anyway. I mean, it's in the Himalayas. Whoever wins is stillgonna be stuck dealing with asshole mountain climbersfor a thousand years.

So, yeah, China,you might push India out, but you're nevergetting rid of Brock. And speaking of war,President Trump is aiming all his Twitter fingersat his former national security adviserand cartoon owl John Bolton. REPORTER: Tonight, a new twist in the president's rift  with his former national security adviser, John Bolton.  The Justice Department is suing him to block publication  of his tell-all book,  scheduled to be released next week. I will considerevery conversation with me as president highly classified. And if the... if the bookgets out, he's broken the law, and I would think that he wouldhave criminal problems. MAN: If you're a publisher, if you're an author,  you have a book coming out, your dream  is to have the president attacking you.  What was the result of that? Uh, the book  is number one on Amazon. Donald J. Trump has got to be one of the mostshort-sighted people in history. Of course the bookis number one on Amazon now. Because you trying so hardto keep it locked up just makes more peoplewant to read it.

"Nobody should ever readthese hot, sexy secrets, "especially on page 32. "You don't want to see those. Don't look, nobody should look." And, look, at the same time, I also understandwhy Trump is so scared. Because already,the stuff that's been leaking out of this bookis pretty wild. Bolton says that Trump  openly asked China  to help him win re-election and constantlytwisted American policy to help himself politically. Which I thinkcould severely damage Trump's reputation with Greg.

 You know Greg--the one remaining guy who didn't believe that yet, but was stillopen to the possibility. Now, if you ask me, this is also some bullshitfrom John Bolton, because he could have testifiedin the Senate trial. But instead,his warning is coming in the form of a memoirsix months later? Who sees their countryin terrible danger from an unhinged presidentand goes, "I need to warn the people. "Chapter one. "I was bornon a bright autumn day -in 1948."-(typewriter dings) And by the way, while Trumpis fighting off this book, he's also the subjectof another tell-all book by his own niece. Yeah. Apparently,  Trump is considering suing her, as well,  because, like all normal families, his niece signed an NDA in 2001. And I can't even beginto imagine how awkwardThanksgiving is going to be for the Trump family. Can you imagine that vibe?Trump is gonna be there like, "I'm not sitting next to Mary. Not after what she wroteabout me." "The other seatis next to Eric." "Okay, Mary.Let's talk this out." Well, that's our showfor tonight. But before we go, The Daily Show and Comedy Central have been donatingto three groups fighting against policebrutality and systemic racism: The NAACP Legal Defense Fund, the Equal Justice Initiative and The Bail Project. Now, if you would liketo chip in, then all you need to do is goto the following link and donate whatever you can. 

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